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You're better off with a cheap tin can!

Is this a post about me supporting gay pride? Well, no, but I do support it. But let's not get into a debate about that, because I would be typing infinitely otherwise.

Do you ever just look at your surrounding motoring colleagues and just see grey and grey, with maybe a splash of dark grey painted onto their German execs? Of course you do. Nobody dares to be different nowadays, partly because it's bad to be noticed all the time, but mainly because they're gonna have a much harder time selling a green Audi A4 with 20" 10-spoke wheels, rather than the conventional black with the 16" however-many-spokes-there-are wheels.

What this means is that when even a slightly different car comes tearing past you; be that a 20-year-old Bentley to a brand new Ferrari 458, you become utterly addicted to it. It is clearly not only me that 'suffers' from this issue either, because when a tatty Porsche Boxster comes chugging past, people will be quick to try and keep up with it so they can say to their passengers: "Look at me, I'm just as fast as a Porsche or whatever that fast car is!" What is the funniest thing though is the fact that Boxster has a value less than a Dacia Sandero.
Despite being worth pennies, they still catch your eye

So we become hallucinated by these wonderful machines. No more do we have to be stuck behind a smokey VW TDi, look at that orange Ford Focus ST! But climb out of your shoes for a second and try to imagine what the driver feels like. Chances are, they'll be feeling one of two things:

They will either be having the journey of their life, because hallelujah, they're getting noticed! Or - if you are not a colossal show off and not a full-time worker up your own arse - you'll probably be feeling slightly embarrassed. Molested even.

That is a shame really. If I had the money, then damn of course I would be tempted to buy an exotic car of some sort. But I'd probably end up having a subtle Audi RS6 on my driveway instead, because the amount of (unwanted) attention I would receive would drive me up the wall. Certainly, I wouldn't dare park my Lamborghini Aventador at my local Tesco, not only because of the attention, but because of another human act.

Would you park this in your local supermarket?
Jealousy. It comes in many different forms, but car jealousy has got to be one of the most vicious. Let's take Porsche as an example. It is a fact that most owners of the Beetle-derived autos are middle aged or even heading towards retirement, simply because of the fact that it is the only time they can own such a car. But no, people get jealous and start stating that all owners are having a midlife crisis. Or if you want to be hip on the internet, people get "butthurt".

So to conclude. If you have money to buy a nice car, do it. It'll probably make your petrolhead life much happier. But people will always be there to ruin your high with outrage (read: jealous)

Owning an expensive car then is like taking an illegal drug. You get the high, but society will always be there to ruin it for you.
You're better off with a cheap tin can! You're better off with a cheap tin can! Reviewed by Jack Cooper on March 25, 2014 Rating: 5

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