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Helloooo Nurse! The New Vauxhall Insignia is a Corker

The Vauxhall Insignia has never really been the one to light the world on fire. Frankly if it did do such a thing, it would be doing its job all wrong. The Insignia was built as a workhorse, a bang-for-your-buck motorway mile muncher; the fact it was the replacement for the infamous Vectra should be enough to tell you the target market.

It's a car, and it just sort of exists

That's not to say it was a bad car - no, it was just uninspiring. Here's your four doors, here's your big boot, here's your diesel engine; bish-bash-bosh and you're away. The no-frills characteristic of this car (both dynamically and visually) meant it sat firmly below the upmarket saloon segment, filled with the likes of 3-Series and A4s. But now Vauxhall have clearly had enough, and wants a slice of the German pie. We'll brush over the fact the car is already German.

Is it acceptable to wolf-whistle a car?

Say hello to the brand new Insignia, courtesy of Auto Express and Carscoops. Isn't she an elegant beaut? If you're wondering why it looks a but rough and unfinished here and there, that's because it is rough and unfinished. The car hasn't been officially revealed yet - and won't be until 2017 - but it's almost impossible to stop the craftiness of spying photographers and their long-lens cameras. Recently they caught a gem: an Insignia Tourer and a saloon with almost no camouflage. Just look at them.

Don't get me wrong, it's not quite an Alfa Giulia, but I wouldn't say it's a million miles off. If a direct comparison were to be made, I would perhaps promote the VW Passat CC, which is a car which also has swoopy curves, and gives a coupé feel despite being a saloon. If you were to compare the current Insignia to the CC, you'd be branded a lunatic. So yes, the Insignia has gone upmarket, but can Vauxhall truly pull it off?

You'd think so: Insignia plus additional sex appeal should equal even greater success than the outgoing model. But the problem is when you go upmarket, you start grabbing the attention of a new target market. You are no longer appealing to those who just want to go 'from A to B' - instead you're looking at those with a healthy income who have the money to spend on a fashion icon. With this new Insignia, there is a very obvious fly in the soup: the badge.

Be it for good or for bad, Vauxhall is known as a lower-end brand. Why would a successful manager want to jump into a car from the same company that makes the Adam Slam? Or the cheap-as-you-want-it Viva? The new Insignia could be an absolute game-changer, but the badge will always be a hold back. Vauxhall isn't the only one with this issue, but other manufacturers have come up with solutions. Think Citroen and their premium DS brand.

Vauxhall claims their solution will be to offer the premium car whilst keeping the lower price point. They haven't specified how low this will be just yet, so we can only wait and see. I really hope this car is successful, because I need something pretty to see on the road to counterbalance the new Prius...

Helloooo Nurse! The New Vauxhall Insignia is a Corker Helloooo Nurse! The New Vauxhall Insignia is a Corker Reviewed by Jack Cooper on December 06, 2016 Rating: 5

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